Blast from the Past November: Gross out

Ok, I know my previous blog gave you a warning. This is a stronger warning: This post is about a child and a two diapers. I will have to be gross and disgusting in this blog to get the story across. Be warned. Avert your eyes if you have a queasy stomach. Don't read any further. I will not be responsible for anything happening as a result of this post. One positive thing I will say: There are no pictures in this post (you'll thank me later).

When Ayden was about 3 or 4 months old, she decided that it would be ok to go 2 weeks between poops. I knew at the time that it wasn't unusual for a breast fed baby to go one week, but I became concerned at two weeks. We went to the doctor, and she checked out just fine. The doctor said she was just using the breast milk very efficiently and not to worry. (She had shown no signs of being upset either, no crying, etc.)

The problem came around the two week mark when she did decide to poop. Wow! Wow! I really can't say that enough, wow! There were two major incidents that I will describe here. The first one was at home, and I believe it was shortly after we visited the doctor concerned about the two weeks. She was laying on the couch next to me, just babbling away and Tate was playing on the floor. It's when I picked her up that I realized that her back was all squishy. Oh, yes, I said squishy. She had pooped so much that it was ALL over, with large puddles of it on the couch (you know how young baby poop can be!). So my first job was to run upstairs with her to get her cleaned off (after an exclamation of "Oh, my god!! Ayden what did you do?" to which she replied with a cute smile and some more babbling). So Ayden, Tate and I all run upstairs to the bathroom. I tell Tate very seriously to stay upstairs by us and not to touch the couch. I put a towel down for Ayden's head and just lay her down in the tub. I slowly start peeling off layers and shower her off (I am so thankful for the pull down shower heads).

Sometime in all of this cleaning of Ayden I realize I don't hear Tate. Since I was almost done with cleaning Ayden I finish up and start to look for Tate. I eventually find him downstairs. Yes, you're right, at the poopy couch. Yep, even worse, he was running his CARS through the poop on the couch. That's right. I said RUNNING his CARS through all the poop on the couch. So, after another exclamation, (this time it was "Oh, my god!! Tate what are you doing?" to which he replied with a blank stare) I then started to clean up my other child, the couch and dispose of a few cars.

The second incident was in PUBLIC. We were in North Bend doing some shopping with Tracy, Michael and her boys when Andy told me what she had done. She was in her infant carrier, and who ever carries an extra infant carrier cover? Luckily we used a body support for her at the time and it got mostly on that and left the carrier cover basically clean. Now, when you are out in public, you are also not close to any running water. So we went back to our car and I had to hold her up while Andy stripped her clothes off, then used about a whole container of wipes to clean her off. (Just picture me standing and holding a naked baby while Andy was wiping her down. She thought it was great. She laughed and kicked the whole time. We had a huge pile of wipes when were done!)We were doing this in the parking lot of the outlet mall, while a lot of other people were walking by, wondering what we were doing. (Thankfully it was June and a very warm day, also thankfully we had just went to Gymboree and purchased her some new clothes). I distinctly remember seeing Michael sitting in their van across from us, shocked, and not believing his eyes, yet needing to turn away due to a high gag reflex. Makes me laugh just thinking about it.

So there you have it. Two of the most disgusting incidents involving my children. Well there was the other incident when Tate was a baby when the poop came out of his diaper and rolled down my leg, or the time that Andy was changing Tate's diaper (I think he was about a day old) and when Andy lifted his legs to put the clean diaper under him Tate shot poop across the living room about 5 feet, (not kidding either, it shot that far. Andy jumped out of the way just in time too. I was so tired that I couldn't stop laughing and I think Andy shampooed the carpet for about a half hour) but that was nothing, NOTHING compared to what Ayden came up with. If it all progressively gets worse with each child, I may never have a third!